Bust Out Magazine

Summer 2004

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Raymond and Wanda

by Cristie Marcus

Looking back, Raymond realized his marriage had been a sham; he had been a phony. Wanda had walked out on him, declaring that she no longer loved him; in fact, she wasn’t sure she had ever loved him. She scooped Fido, their cat, up under her arm, hoisted her already packed tote bag over her shoulder and slammed the door behind her.

Raymond was speechless; a rare occurrence, which seemed to be the crux of his dilemma. A week earlier, Wanda had hollered that she couldn’t take it anymore. If he didn’t stop his jabbering, she would go insane; she’d leave.

Jabbering? Raymond, who had always been a quiet guy, thought women appreciated a man of knowledge, a communicator. When they first met, Raymond was determined to dazzle Wanda with interesting conversation. He worked hard to memorize tidbits of information. He subscribed to an on-line encyclopedia and studied while pretending to do his job. She called him Mr. Yellow Pages; he loved that.

Riding the bus home, Raymond made mental lists of topics to discuss. He would fill dreaded lulls in chatter with new subjects. Eventually Wanda tuned him out; he tried harder to engage her attention. Raymond never noticed their conversations had become monologues.

After Wanda left him, Raymond returned to his solitary, quiet self. He was exhausted; tired of memorizing facts and data, sick of the pressure he put on himself to fascinate Wanda. Raymond adjusted his Lazy-Boy recliner, savored the silence and almost laughed; he missed having Fido curled up on his lap.


Raymond and Wanda is 100% fiction. It sprouted from a seed in Guy Biederman’s “Low-Fat Fiction” workshop. I do not know any Raymonds and have always wanted to write a story with a Fido in it.

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