Forensics Way

by Guy Biederman

“This kid got up, kind of chubby now that I think about it. But otherwise unremarkable.”

“Was this the Finals?”

“Yeah, but nobody knew who he was except the other kids from his school. The usual drama queens were there, the ones you see at every tournament. ”

“Yeah, Starr the dancer since age 2, and Hugo The Ego . . . I get the picture.”

“So this kid gets up and and just stands there and everybody starts to get a little uncomfortable. Some snicker, some look away. Then his face contorts.”

“Like a twitch, like he’s got some kind of disorder?”

“It moves sideways, then diagonally, then up and down. It gets tiny, then huge and his eyes are like portholes.”

“Was he looking out or were you looking in?”

“It was like watching a movie of my life, my story — the time I got tied to a flagpole and pants-ed, the time a judge gave me 5th place because I didn’t have a nice suit, the time that jock wrote FAG in black ink on my white shoes.”

“Sounds like a powerful speech, dude.”

“The weird thing is he never said a word. Never even moved.”

“But it’s a speech tournament, you’re supposed to talk, and move.”

“Didn’t have to.”

“Did you give him first?”

“No, 5th. Kid’s gotta get a suit, like the rest of us.”